6napkinburger Terms & Conditions . Um, not so much. I was in bed, asleep. But since I knew his motivation for liking things was less about me than it was about his own inadequacy, and I didnt actually like him as a person. lets_be_honest He should be talking to his wife about how he feels alienated when it is the three of them, but this is an issue between him and his wife. I generally agree with Wendy, but would add that LW should talk to her husband about the critical view hes taking of his daughters hobbies, the escalating fights between him and the daughter and his way of interrupting conversations between LW and her daughter that annoy him. Be happy that your daughter has a father who wants to be involved in her life. Especially a board game like Cranium where everyone can shine in what theyre good at, and it can be good to pair up with someone youre different from. Some article about historical events that are echoed in Firefly, for example, or some new technology that brings us one step closer to Star Trek, or the genuine history of witchcraft that was included in Harry Potter. July 2, 2013, 12:29 pm. Over time, you may have begun to feel a little desperate, wondering if there wasnt some sort of underlying game going on. I used to whine like crazy when my dad tried to teach me about cars or home improvement, or talk about politics. It should be a crime to roll your eyes at Buffy. Ha! for making her suffer through these things she finds boring, but the resentment will be short-term and the benefits will last much longer. But in college I fell in love with art history and now I actually take days off work to go visit art museums! I think the fathers criticism is a major problem, although I also think the daughter should be encouraged to become educated and skillful in the things hes attempting to teach her too (life is better when youre well-rounded and competent in a lot of things). Seriously, the concept of the Q is what puts me on the agnostic end of atheism. Other times, you may have felt you were doing everything right to get a predictable outcome, but your efforts were unproductive or even erased. If you want to bring about change in your family, though, you are going to have to get him to confront the fact that his behaviour is hurtful, destructive, and possibly even cruel. lbh based on the LWs description do you really think this is the same as your experience? It took me a VERY long time to develop my own interests and become my own person I think youre right to encourage your daughter to be who she is and like what she likes. You are so stupid, get some real hobbies.. He had an inflated sense of self-importance that led him to believe he was superior and entitled to only the best. They do need the help of their partners to learn to love in this new way. I have vivid memories of being forced to attend Cardinals games with my dad because my mom said it was important. Sometimes those things just happen. lets_be_honest For example, younger children may not be able to express themselves as well and may need help doing so. Yours on their own will just isolate her as, frankly, many out there find fangirls and fanboys annoying. Counseling could help because communication is an issue here because no matter how much youve talked about it nothing has changed. Maybe not, though. I still think hes acting out like a child. Team sports, outdoorsy, tomboyish stuff. Im doing everything I can to make things work between us. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. July 2, 2013, 11:40 am. LWs daughter should definitely be involved with some enriching activities, but theres no harm at all in loving media. I get that maybe he feels like an alien within you & daughters girl bubble, but the way to fix that is not to strong-arm her into liking National Geographic. Now a couple of days ago I made a mistake and got behind the wheel of a car after having a few drinks and got a DUI. This makes me so deeply jealous. July 2, 2013, 12:33 pm, Finding out the music my parents listened to opened up my eyes to who they used to be. July 3, 2013, 1:06 am, Honestly, no matter WHAT the mom was a fan of my response would have been the same. But believe it or not, a lot of my nerdy students do like Buffy quite a few of them go to conventions, and as far as I can tell, theyre just giant nerd festivals, so its actually kind of easy to encounter something that was popular 15 years ago because where there are nerds, there is Buffy. LW, what kind of music does your husband like? Yes! You have to do whats best for yourself and your family. I didnt say all mature and intelligent adults like Buffy or Star Trek, Im just saying there are mature and intelligent adults who like Buffy or Star Trek. If everybody liked the same things, the world would be rather boring. Eventually I grew up and learned to appreciate these things, and I can look back and say wow, my dad was so great and modeled the type of behavior I should show. Also, my father took me to the new Disney movie every year. I wanted to spend more time with him so he took me golfing with him early in the morning, even though I didnt know how to play. June 30, 2022 by Team The Relationship Notes. Then she tells me she doesnt wear that anymore and how come I didnt notice? I mean, really, isnt that how you build a relationship with anyone? July 2, 2013, 11:06 am. 6napkinburger Actually, my husbands a pretty big fanboy in general. Shes not pulling away from the husband because he doesnt have the same interests as her daughter. Find a common ground youve got to. By myself, though. My dad did tell me they were awful back in the day but he still bought me all the tapes and magazines and t-shirts and let me plaster my walls with their posters and drove me to their concert. My dad said to me that the best thing you can do as a parent is expose your kid to all of their options and let them decide from there. His father worked out of town 5 days a week and was hunting on the weekends during hunting season, so my husband would see him maybe one day a week. Encourage her to have fun with him. My mom and I were not friends like this, and she let my dads bullying escalate to keep the peace. In that instance, it is terrible timing and the dad should have listened to Indie when he came in in an emergency and the dad should have helped then and done the latin lesson later, but if that was a normal day home from scouting, then good for dad, because indie totally used that information later in life, even though it was annoying (and seemingly aloof) of his dad to be so demanding. Hopefully she'll see the sense in this and be able to move on. My Husband Is An Angry Parent And I Hate It. So sad. And since she loves you both, it can be tough for her to see you stay in a situation that makes you both so miserable. a single mom to her as her dad was never in the picture. The episode where Picard experiences an entire lifetime with a wife, children, grandchildren etc. And LW, just because there is communicating going on around you doesnt mean that your family has good, healthy, communication. I dont know where that gene comes from I know I dont have it. FWIW, I didnt get that vibe either, Fabelle. I planned everything exactly the way he liked and it went down just like I thought it would. Older and (hopefully) wiser This kind of self-awareness is never easy, and it is likely that he may need some professional help to overcome whatever it is that prevents him from opening up with those closest to him. Ask the dentist: Why can some people not cope with the word 'fat'? Um, no. Janet got the love and affection of a parent from the old maid who raised her. So, yes, encourage your daughter to take an interest what your husband likes. Did I always do things he would agree with necessarily? Which sort of circles back to point that even if this dad doesnt connect with his daughters interests, he really should make an effort. These 8 tips are from my experience and may point out things you probably don't know are pushing your husband away and destroying your marriage. Your biggest enemy when your spouse is driving you crazy is proximity. Not while professing such love for me and genuinely remorseful when Im upset. How dare she share her own interests. Hes a good person, but our relationship as two adults is not a close one and at times feels forced on my end because I still dont know how to be myself around him. But I see why he would so Im giving him the benefit of the doubt. But you know what. As your confusion increased, you probably felt a stronger need to make things happen the way they should, while your partner accused you of obsessively tracking his or her every move. Are they harboring some passive/aggressive need to prove that love wont last and unconsciously sabotaging every chance that it could? You do her a disservice by being greedy with her time and attention. And to be 10, 11, 12, 13 and know that my sheer presence could make my dad so happy? haha. My eldest daughter left for university five years ago and has never come home, though I do chat with her by phone. Im willing to bet you (and me and others) would have done the same thing back to him when he mentioned something that you didnt like. Crazy-makers often give up the love they most desperately need when they feel any sense of an obligatory payback. I hope the LW sees your comment. What To Do When Your Partner and Daughter Dont Get Along? There are also a bunch of shows on the history channel or the science channel about science-fiction kind of stuff. Just because you dont like Buffy and have introduced a bunch of facts that dont exist in the letter (your comment below about what the dad has been putting up with for years!?!) Instead, try to understand why they are pulling away and what you can do to support them during this time. What to Do When Your Ex Undermines Your Authority As a mum who has exactly the same issue, I cant help but feel that this advice missed the point. Great suggestion! (I highly recommend looking into how to cook with your fish encased in salt, something magical happens.). When children become teenagers, they sometimes start to distance themselves from their parents. My mom and I both liked movies, reading, pop culture, and shopping. The fact that he is open to sharing his interests with her is key thats going to be where the relationship develops. If he wants her to take an interest in his hobbies, he needs to feign interest in hers. And while my mom certainly cultivated my love of our mutual interests, she also encouraged me to participate in some of my dads interests, too. If your daughter is still willingly doing these activities I dunno since most teenagers are rather bratty and self absorbed and not keen on doing things they dont enjoy Id hazard a guess she finds them more fun than you would like. bittergaymark Wow, Im glad Im not the only one whose beliefs on the cosmos/humanity have been influenced by Star Trek. Then my partner came along. He was much kinder to them.) Its almost like shes commiserating with her daughter as though hes her father also. You can see it in the fighting. Do you think he liked listening to my fangirlish squees? Like I said, I consider myself a mature, intelligent adult, yet I read People magazine. Seriously though, Joss Whedon writes amazing TV his shows are some of the best the medium has to offer. And, yes, you ARE being greedy, because as much as your daughter may genuinely enjoy your time together pursuing interests you both share, she is missing out on a relationship with her dad and all the things he can teach her through his interests. Do not let that behavior continue. I would let him know that you are going to encourage her to hangout with him more, but he needs to also every once in a while do something she loves. I have to agree. 15 Mother-In-Law Behaviors That Deserve a Punch in the Face - Scary Mommy The LW can do more to assist, and certainly needs to break away from the us versus him mentality (its easier said that done) but at the same time she cant force 2 other people to enjoy their time together.
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